‘Felix,’ he said, giving the cat a scratch behind the ears, ‘I haven’t laughed this hard in ages.’ If only he could share this video with the world, he thought. He took another gulp of beer and nearly choked on it. ‘Felix,’ he said with a wide smile, ‘we’re not done making this asshole pay for what he did.’ He leapt up the stairs and made a beeline to his office. He fired up the laptop, and connected his phone. He created a YouTube account and within minutes, his video was uploaded for the world to see. He giggled uncontrollably as he captioned it with the title, ‘Wife Catches Husband Cheating, Hilarity Ensues.’ Incredibly, within a week, the video had gone viral, with more than 400,000 views. A week later, it had exceeded more than two million. Bill’s friends on Facebook were sharing the video, clueless to the fact that Bill was the one who uploaded it. When the television show ‘Tosh.0’ picked it up, the video went mega-viral, exceeding more than one hundred million views. News vans. It looked up at him with beady black eyes. Its little clawed feet made a tik, tik, tik sound as it hopped from one foot to the other on the searing pavement. It opened its beak as if to say something profound-- thought fuck it and dropped down dead.Bumfelt studied the pigeon for a moment. It's wings fluttered as a bus hurtled by in a blast of engine noise and more heat.Poor bastard, thought Bumfelt, stepping over the dead bird. I know how you feel."Want me to drive?" asked Fussilli as they approached the car. He leant on the roof and then jumped away. The steel was blistering and so now was the detective's bare arm. " Fuck me!" I've got this, Jerry," replied Bumfelt, climbing into the car."Fuckin hell!" gasped Fussilli, entering the passenger side door, winding the window down. "Hot as fuck in here."Bumfelt took a last look at the pigeon. It was past caring. It didn't give two fucks how hot it was.Iva Whetsnatch was dripping with sweat such was the heat in her small apartment and the.
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